Family overscheduling can hinder children’s needs for free time, ‘healthy brain development’

For parents feeling the strain of fitting too many children’s activities into their schedules, the answer may be surprisingly simple yet counterintuitive: stay at home.

“We get it, parents want to give kids every opportunity – but overscheduling can backfire,” parent coach Kristin Gallant told Parade Magazine. “Kids need downtime for healthy brain development. When every afternoon and weekend is filled, their stress hormones spike, sleep suffers and behavior struggles follow.”

In a world increasingly disillusioned with helicopter parenting, more analysts are calling on families to promote independence and personal responsibility among the next generation – which can include providing more free time and unstructured play. 

“Free play is not ‘wasted time,’” Gallant said. “It’s when creativity, problem-solving and self-regulation actually build.” 

‘Childhood is long’ 

Gallant, who shares an Instagram account “Big Little Feelings” with licensed therapist Deena Margolin, also clarifies the distinction between a busy family and an overscheduled one. 

“Busy can be joyful,” she notes, adding kids “still have unstructured time to rest and reset.” 

However, an overscheduled family has no breathing room, which ultimately “leads to burnout,” according to Gallant. 

“Every moment is structured, and kids (and parents!) feel like they’re sprinting through life without recovery.” 

To help recover breathing room, Gallant advises families to re-evaluate their household calendars. 

“Do you still have regular family dinners? Nights at home? Lazy Saturday mornings?” she asks. “Protect those like gold.” 

Another option is to start with only one activity per child in each school season. 

“Remember: kids don’t need to try everything at once,” Gallant notes. “Childhood is long.” 

One Finnish mom’s experience raising US children  

Gallant’s recommendations dovetail with social norms in countries such as Finland, where parents encourage family downtime through a culture of “long vacations, and option for part-time schedules,” according to Annabella Daily.

“I have decided to consciously create more bandwidth by opting out of many voluntary but culturally encouraged American mom tasks,” she wrote for Business Insider, “from participation in school activities during the daytime to scheduling — and attending — countless travel sports and choosing simpler commitments instead.”

Daily, who came to the United States “for the American dream,” described her surprise at finding how her U.S. career conflicted with her family’s changing needs. 

“After I became pregnant with our first son, I was shocked to learn how much harder motherhood was in the U.S. and how much more challenging it was to balance work with family compared to the Nordic countries.” 

Ultimately, however, Daily found personal fulfillment in giving her sons priority over her employment. 

“American parents around me tend to care for their children by doing a lot for them and by removing discomforts and obstacles,” she explained. “In the Nordics, parents show care by both letting and pushing their kids to do what they are capable of to prepare them for the world.”