How parents can best prepare their children for life in 2025 and beyond (hint: it may be easier than you think)

What’s the most precious gift we can offer our children?

The answer is so simple we often miss it: our time, says Monica Irvine, a retired homeschool mom.

Moreover, the clock is constantly ticking until they’re 18 – and that time will go more quickly than you think. 

“You’ve got each of your child’s names, and by each of your child’s names you have 18 boxes,” she explained in a recent interview with Midwest Parent Educators (MPE). “Every summer I want you to X out another box. If no one has ever told you, you’re going to miss it.” 

Irvine owns the Etiquette Factory focusing on life skills, and she encourages parents everywhere – homeschooling or otherwise – to help influence their children in reaching their full potential. 

This New Year, consider four ways to get more intentional in modeling the correct path, or as Irvine describes it, the “payoff” for our children in learning life skills. 

Help children pick their priorities – using you as an example. 

If your children listed what they thought were your parental priorities, what would they say? 

“A lot of the day, our children have got to see not only that we put God first, but why do we do it and what are the benefits of putting God first,” Irvine said, explaining how her friend made scripture reading and prayer a regular part of her family’s daily routine.

“Typically, these kind of commitments – you don’t see the fruits of your labor until years down the road.” 

One way to express those priorities comes through family devotions – even when they feel intimidating or futile. 

“You’ve got one child hanging from the chandelier, two over here are punching each other, and you’re trying to have this sacred moment, and a lot of times when you’re raising your kids, it doesn’t feel very sacred, y’all. It feels like you’re in the depths of you know where, but you just keep trying. 

“I think Heavenly Father loves effort, and I know he blesses effort. … He just loves watching us, His children, trying to make good choices, and He will bless that and magnify it a thousandfold.” 

Prayer time can be as simple as going through a series of prepared questions. In one example, one of The Lion’s staff’s families will ask their children to answer three statements: “I’m thankful for __, sorry for __ and want to pray for ___.” 

Create opportunities in everyday routines to serve others. 

Irvine also advises incorporating kindness and other “gospel principles” as part of daily life rhythms. 

“One of our most important jobs, besides teaching our children how to follow Jesus Christ, is to teach our children how to love one another. We all fight against selfishness every day of our life. … We’ve got to fight against our natural man, so that we can become better.” 

By opening doors for passersby or politely greeting cashiers at the store, parents can practically demonstrate ways to serve others, according to Irvine. 

“Instead of us going through the checkout line with you, mom, scrolling on Facebook and your kids over here obsessed with the candy, begging for what they can’t have, now you’ve taken your whole situation, and you’ve turned it outward. It’s so simple.” 

These moments illustrate “the blessing that comes to us when we serve Jesus Christ,” she says. 

“When we stop our life for a moment and hold the door for someone, we’re actually sending a message to that person. And that message is, I see you and you matter, and I can pause my life for a moment and hold the door for you.” 

Character qualities such as honor, selflessness and kindness grow from practice, Irvine argues. 

“If you want to raise children who are honorable, they have to do honorable things. If you want children to be selfless, they have to do selfless things. If you want children to be kind, they have to do kind things. It is our responsibility as parents to create opportunities for our children to learn these gospel principles that will bless their life and bring them joy.” 

Make time in your calendar for family fun. 

The next tip may catch some by surprise, but it’s one of the most valuable experiences for children, Irvine says. 

“It’s so important that we have fun with our family. If I were to ask your kids today, ‘What’s something really fun your family did? What is something that your family did lately that’s just really, really fun?,’ would they be able to tell me something?” 

Just like appointments, activities and other planned events, space for R&R should take priority on household to-do lists. 

“Put on your calendar ‘Family fun time,’ and make sure your kids can see the calendar,” Irvine urges. “If your kids don’t believe that spending time and just having fun, no agenda but to have fun with your kids, is not at the top of your priority list, then where do they feel they fit on your priority list?” 

Model the skill of giving a sincere apology. 

The final tip may be the simplest, but most challenging, life skill so far: how to apologize well. 

“There are people in your life and people in my life that I have never once in their life heard them say, ‘I’m sorry,’” Irvine notes. “We actually have to apologize. We have to say the words, ‘I’m sorry.’” 

Because apologies can be so difficult, Irvine suggests breaking down the process into separate steps. Not only should children recognize they did something wrong, but they should also admit it without excuses or blaming others. 

Additionally, they should make a commitment to try not to repeat the offense. 

“Etiquette is helping those around us to feel valued and comfortable,” she points out. “If I can’t show you how an etiquette skill doesn’t show others that we value them, to me it’s not an etiquette skill. It’s not this list of dos and don’ts and what fork I eat my salad with. It’s about showing love and value to others.” 

Irvine also recommended choosing times to teach children life skills, instead of reacting “in the moment” when they’ve done something wrong. 

“The best time to teach children skills of the heart is when their heart is soft,” she says, adding this can only happen when children are ready to absorb new information and aren’t feeling defensive. 

“When you are being corrected, even when it’s done with a gentle tone, you have an emotional response. It’s a self-protection. So, what we do is we kind of emotionally stiffen up. It’s called a hardening of the heart.” 

Overall, parents should aim not to control their children, but to model the life skills and behavior they most want to see in their family, Irvine advises. 

“How your children turn out is really not up to you,” she said, adding each person will ultimately make their own life choices. “However, you have an enormous ability to impact the path that your children choose.”