‘Send them to the pound’: Oklahoma rep introduces bill to ban ‘furries’ from school, have them rounded up by ‘animal control’

An Oklahoma state representative introduced a bill last week that would ban so-called “furries” from attending school.

“Furries,” the New York Post says, are “a subculture whose members enjoy dressing up as cartoonish animals, sometimes as a sexual fetish but more often as a fun escape.”

House Bill 3084, filed by Republican state Rep. Justin Humphrey, prohibits students from dressing as, or pretending to be, a real or imaginary animal while attending school or activities.

As written, the bill would preclude school participation by “students who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries at school.” 

What’s more, if a student were to violate the proposed new rule, the school would be required to contact the parents and ask them to remove the student. If not, “animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student.” 

After taking apparent flak from some who wonder if the bill is serious, Humphrey took to social media to address his detractors. As far as he’s concerned, we should all be worried about students identifying as animals, or even worse, using a litter box instead of the bathroom at school. 

“People are going to call me insane for running this bill. Hell, I’d say they’re insane,” he quips, before offering his solution. “If you got an animal coming to school: How about we get them vaccinated? How about we get them neutered. And how about we send them to the pound? 

“I don’t want to see some kid go into the bathroom in a litter box, in the kitty litter. If they’re gonna be animals, let’s send them to the pound; let’s send them home. 

“How do you teach a cat math?” 

There is no timeline on when, or if, the bill will be up for debate. If it passes, it would go into effect in November. 

Some students have been left to wonder how this bill would impact their school’s mascot. 

“What if a student just really likes dressing up like a tiger and ‘high-fiving’ all the other students?” asked one student speaking on condition of anonymity. “I’m asking for a friend.” 

It’s not uncommon for politicians to file superfluous bills to open debate on an issue, or even for publicity, and Humphrey has been known to file such bills in the past. Previously, he filed a bill to create a “Big Foot” hunting season.